Arcadia

I was looking through some of my old assignments today when I stumbled upon an essay I constructed for my old AP English class. The task was for each student to find an appropriate pseudonym for the person they wanted to be. Constructed in the August of my senior year (2010), I found that much of its optimism seemed to resonate with many of my ambitions today. 

While I have finally accepted that I am different, I do not have a clear idea of what being “different” entails. This search is the underlying reason why I am striving to become “Arcadian,” or the male variant of “Arcadia.”

According to Thinkbabynames.com, “Arcadia was originally the place name of a mountainous region in Greece which came to symbolize the home of simple and rustic pastoral happiness, and later, for Paradise itself. I have chosen Arcadian because the name paints a vivid picture of many aspects of my character. This idea is illustrated in the fact that Arcadia was cloistered from the rest of society, a separation that I have felt throughout my life’s entirety. Though I have recently begun to recognize my distinct personality, I still question the person that I am becoming. There are times I feel momentous remorse over some of my past actions to my friends and parents. I hope for a day where I can lift myself from the confusion of adolescence. A day where I can be there for any one of my friends if they are ever in need of sound advice, a time where I approach each day with a fresh cup of optimism within my grasp. I wish to revel in the person I become, no matter how different that person may be.

Later in the year, I performed Shakespeare’s “To Be or Not to Be” as the Joker from The Dark Knight.

I am unsure of where this adventure shall take me, or how long it shall even be, but I know when I truly become Arcadian, I’ll be able to look past the waves of indecision and focus on the beauty of the world around me.